Star Trek: Starbase 777 - counselling-office-01

"Please, sit down," Alin told Copia, taking the time to log his presence in this office should anyone come looking for him. He also put a reminder for in an hour, to actually go follow up what he had been planning on doing before. "I'm afraid I'm less prepared than I would like to be for a proper session, but you seem to be in distress, so let's see what I can do for you, okay? First of all, I'm Alin, son of q'Reth, but feel free to just call me Alin." Normally Copia would have the chance to actually look up who their counsellor would be, but it felt important to introduce himself properly right now. Especially since Alin could guess from their clumsy way of seeking assistance that they were unfamiliar with therapy, at least for the most part.

Copia took a few steps and sat down in a chair across from Alin. Yeah - he meant this chair, right? Or was it the other one? Copia's mind was reeling. But Copia steadied herself and responded to Alin. "I understand, Alin. It is wonderful to meet you, and thank you for taking me in on such short notice. I never thought, as an android, I would require therapy. Yet, here I am. And indeed, I am quite in distress. Before we begin, I am Lieutenant Copia. Mission Specialist, command division. Daughter -- yes...daughter... of former Lieutenant Commander Tobias Ulrich." Copia was thinking maybe Alin would need this information to verify her identity before beginning. Of course, she wasn't actually Tobias' biological daughter, but she certainly felt like it. And that's what mattered. "I would like to commend Honored Elder Yoro'clis of the Security Division for seeing to it that I made it here safely," Copia added. "He was greatly involved with why I am here."

Alin made note of both Copia and Yoro'clis' indentities, hoping to, if nothing else, include them in an incident report. "I'm glad he was able to help you this far, Copia," he said genuinely. "Is there anything I can do right now to help you feel more comfortable? Normally I would offer you a drink, would that help?" Alin didn't know if Copia could drink, but he guessed he would find out.

Copia nodded a bit sporadically, her emotions still a bit unstable, although her emotion chip was purring like a kitten and working just fine. "Any beverage you would have, that would benefit me greatly, please, thank you!" Copia said. "Perhaps a new and interesting flavor will soothe my nerves. I've found that to be the case with any new or unfamiliar culinary explorations for me. I defer to you for both what you have available and what you think will best soothe me. I do wish to address why I'm here in as critical of a way as possible." Even though emotionally compromised, Copia was still approaching it as critically as she could. She recognized mathematically the probability that she'd get upset again, thus a beverage like this would statistically counteract that.

Alin walked over to the replicator, and replicated a milk bubble tea with brown sugar pearls, and a wide straw to drink out of. Copia mentioned that new tastes helped her, and Alin wanted to help her achieve that, but he also wanted to pick something that intuitively seemed a little soothing to him. Tea usually helped him, and the addition of tapioca pearls might be a new enough experience for Copia to benefit from it, too. He set it down in front of her, and sat down in his own chair with a glass of water himself. He took a sip, preparing himself. "Do you want to start by explaining your situation, or is there something else you need from me right now?" he asked calmly, hoping that projecting a calm demeanour would cause Copia to follow his lead.

CW: death, depression, negative thoughts Copia's eyes followed as Alin brought the bubble tea back to the table - her curiosity grew immensely as she looked at the new and unfamiliar drink. "Thank you kindly, Alin!" Copia took the bubble tea and, settling it between her lips, finally took a sip, with a few tapioca pearls hitching a ride up the straw in addition to the bubble tea. Immediately, a combination of the sensation of the tapioca, the creaminess of the tea, and the overall flavor of the beverage made Copia's eyes shut and her mouth curl up into a smile. "Mmm... mmm! This is... exquisite!" Soon, nearly a third of the tea was gone - she was getting a little carried away. "Ah... perhaps I should save more of this as we converse." Copia set down the bubble tea onto the table, and sat back in the chair. "I believe it would be best to explain my situation first. Honored Elder Yoro'clis, who escorted me here, joined me in holodeck one for a simulated battle of the Federation against the Cardassians, which he equated to a simple game, as did I, at first. As the battle ensued, his army took out a critical vessel which was commanded by Admiral Ross. When that happened... I realized... I have never had blood on my hands before. I could have prevented his death. It was an oversight on my part, as I focused on the battle as a whole and not his individual vessel... yet... that vessel was home to Admiral Ross. And his crew. His death, had it been real, would have devastated so many other officers among the Starfleet ranks, on other vessels and on other Federation worlds. And my oversight would have been the cause... I have never endured this sort of guilt before. My creator would not wish for me to have done that... My previous emotion chip even overloaded following the battle, causing my system to fail completely before being treated at the upper engineering complex. I was so upset with myself... and I... still am." (edited)

Alin listened intently, hoping to find a way to reassure Copia from her words. It seemed the simulated fight had triggered her in a way, despite the knowledge that it was in fact a simulation. But more than that, Copia was Command division. Such feelings were expected from someone inexperienced, but they were incredibly impractical when fights and battles were simply part of your job. "It would have been devastating, had it been real," he agreed gently. "But, from what you've said, it was part of a larger battle. Even if it had been real, it wouldn't have been your fault." He had to think a little more before continuing, wanting to figure out what would help the most. Well, this was an android, so maybe logic would work? He could always go from there. "Nobody really wants to die," he said, opting to stick with universal truths. "Everything in the universe is, in one way or another, created to exist, to live. We cling with clawed hands and brittle fingers to that life, to the continuation of our own existence. If it were any other way, nothing would live. But, intelligent creatures have an understanding of consequence. And one of the consequences of signing up to Starfleet is that one day, you might encounter a battle you don't survive. You knew that as well, right?" Especially in recent decades, life in Starfleet had been tumultuous. It was currently more peaceful than it had been for almost fifty years before that, and that meant that anyone signing up to Starfleet had to have had it in mind. Alin knew he had, despite going to the Medical Academy instead.

CW: death, loss Copia watched Alin closely, taking in his words and nodding when she seemed to understand what he was getting at. Hmmm... Yeah, that made sense! She did sign up for Starfleet after all. But... "I believe I am able to find an even deeper root after you mentioning my duties as a Starfleet officer," Copia said in realization. "I myself, as a Mission Specialist, have coordinated, managed and attended multiple away team missions where indeed the situations were often life-threatening." Then, Copia took a deep breath. "And yet... On every single one of those missions, every crew member under my watch has come back alive. Often injured, but alive nonetheless. My creator, he is still alive to this day. My friends who I met during my time on previous vessels and at the academy, as far as I am aware, they're still alive as well." Wait a second... Copia may have started to connect some dots. She took another sip of her bubble tea... Copia put the puzzle pieces together in her head... This. This was the key. This was how Alin could help her further. "I guess... I myself have never endured the feeling of loss itself before. It is something that evidently all higher ranking officers must face, I have calculated that as such. And yet, it is something I have never experienced before in my life. Every mission and job duty that I've been directly involved in, be it in Starfleet or in other areas of life such as with my creator, has come back with me and others, at least to my knowledge, completely safe and well. This is the first time I've directly experienced loss. If I assume correctly, I will need to approach it in a much different direction if I am to further my Starfleet career." She did it! Copia looked inside herself and found a key root! Yes, she assumed her job was dangerous - but finding this critical detail was key to helping her find a path forward.

Alin listened closely to what Copia was saying. He was glad she was thinking about what she was feeling, too, that made his job a lot easier. What wasn't easy was teaching an android how to deal with loss. Alin had rarely had to deal with loss himself, luckily, but he'd known many people who he'd helped with it over the years. None of them had been completely clueless as to how to go about dealing with it. "I can't explain to you how to deal with grief and loss, I'm afraid. There's a million different ways to experience it and all I can do is try to help you learn to cope. What I can offer you right now is this: you can't be in control of every variable. Nobody is. Nobody expects that of their commanding officers, either." There would always be those who would blame others after a tragic event. Grief makes people strike in the weirdest directions, and the easiest way to express your grief is to have someone to be angry at. But any officer worth their salt would understand that the people around them are doing whatever they can, and would do the same in return. "What is expected of you is that you do your best. That you're responsible, and you take care of the people around you. Whatever happens happens, and the only thing that's important is that you did all you could to lead and assist and protect the people in your vicinity." Survivor's guilt was frequently unavoidable. Any senior officer who'd seen war battled with it. If they'd lost friends or children, it became even worse. And yet, at the end of the day, everyone had to admit that they did their best in the moment, and that's all they could have done. "You cannot avoid tragedy, it will always come find you. You can only move on from it."

As Alin spoke, Copia found it progressively easier to ingest all of the concepts he was mentioning. He was correct, no one can be in control of every variable -- it sounded a lot like what Yoro'clis told her. There would be no way for her to ensure every detail went according to planned, and there would be no way she could guarantee everyone coming back safely. It started to make sense, hearing a second viewpoint from a different field of study. Tactical strategy, and mental health... in this sense, both seemed to merge for Copia. Alin telling her that she could not avoid tragedy, and Yoro'clis telling her that she would need to keep on fighting because the tragedy was for something greater. "I... did all I could to lead," Copia said, parroting Alin slightly, but with each new word she spoke, it was as if she were making another connection. She was starting to grasp hold of it! It was working! "And assist... and protect the people around me. And... why should I be... upset with myself if I... didn't do anything wrong? If I know I... did my best?" Alin telling her that even the commanding officers couldn't be expected to have every variable under control, and Yoro'clis saying that they would just have to keep going because the cause was bigger... merging the two, Copia realized that she, despite not being a commanding officer, still had the same obligation in her respective job duties. Where Yoro'clis left some questions unanswered, Alin's insights were filling in those blanks. The subtle twitch of Copia's eyes back and forth signified that she was, in fact, computing this - it was making logical sense! It was working! "It was the same as Honored Elder Yoro'clis had told me..." Copia said, her smile returning somewhat. She looked into Alin's eyes, and before she realized it, a glimmer of hope returned in her own eyes. "They'd want me to keep going." (edited)

Alin let Copia take her time to process the words. The android had probably never had someone attempt to take care of her mental health before, so he was glad his words were sticking. He was also glad she ended up in his office, compared to someone perhaps less experienced. "It's alright to be upset if things go wrong. It's even alright to be upset with yourself if you make a mistake. But reminding yourself that you did the best you could is the first step in coming to terms with whatever happened." Alin wouldn't dare tell anyone that being upset at anything was a wrong response to have. You didn't control your emotions, you only controlled how you choose to respond to them, and you could sometimes influence how you process them. Those were the parts he was required to focus on. "When I revisit traumatic events with people, they tend to use hindsight to justify getting mad at themselves. "If I had just done this, then that wouldn't have happened," is something I hear regularly. And they never think to consider themselves on the other side of the event, making the decision with incomplete information, or thinking on their feet or in a panic, or in any number of conditions that would impact their decision making. Doing the best you can is sometimes the only thing you can do." Alin himself absolutely could not help everyone to the degree he wanted to, either. You can't save everyone. Sometimes he wasn't the right person for someone. Some people are so beyond help that you'd simply lost them before you ever even tried to help them. And yet, even in the face of that, he tried his best. Sometimes his best wasn't good enough, but at least he could live with himself knowing that he'd done what he could.

Twitch. Twitch! Copia's eyes moved around back and forth, as her mind computed progressively more of what Alin was explaining - she indeed was ingesting it logically. "I was doing that with myself, wasn't I...? Using hindsight to justify my feeling upset with myself..." Copia's eyes kept darting all around, she was becoming increasingly less tense, and she felt herself settling into the chair. "I guess I've... never been upset with myself before," Copia said, realizing once again. "I reacted the only way I knew how. But it's... not healthy to place blame on myself for something I simply missed on accident." Then she took a moment to consider the facts against what Alin had explained. "I believe part of it is that, as an android, I am able to compute complex solutions to equivalently complex problems. Having not solved a problem that I, at least at the time, believe I should have been able to solve, did not process for me, especially given the implication of the results. And yet... I am not expected to be perfect, even as an... android." Copia's eyes looked to Alin. "There are times where I believe I am more human than android. This may be one of them. I have discovered I am indeed fallible. I cannot compute every detail if I am not exposed to it. I can only process so much in a high-stakes situation such as this - as does any organic life form. So how was I... to present a perfect solution if I could not process everything? That wasn't-- that wasn't my fault." Copia was making realizations left and right! As she spoke, the inflection in her voice was steadily rising as indeed she was making CRUCIAL connections in her head. Alin must have said exactly the right thing - it was working! (edited)

Alin genuinely wasn't an expert on androids. Realistically, he was about as technologically illiterate as one could be when having pursued a career in medicine. It seemed to him that since androids were made in the image of humans, there's be a lot of overlap, but honestly, there were too many differences for him to see them as at all similar. To not even speak of the many species that androids might have things in common with; Copia was dealing with the information he was providing her with like... maybe a Vulcan properly interacting with counselling for the first time.? "Nothing is infallible, Copia. There's possibilities for flaws in every single person, plant, or animal, and in every single program ever written. There's nothing in the universe that is perfect. In the face of that, it would be foolish to expect our tiny little selves to be." Alin had taken a few philosophy classes here and there, and while he didn't think that introducing the concept of a platonic ideal right here would be helpful, it was what his mind immediately went to. He took another sip of his water. He couldn't remember the last time he talked so much during a session. He usually tried to keep it pretty even, at least, but it seemed like this was just one of those times where someone needed nothing more than encouragement.

It still wasn't the easiest thing in the world for Copia to hear that even she and most likely every other android ever created weren't entirely perfect. Nothing could ever be. But she had held herself to such a high standard, and especially having endured something as taxing as the holodeck simulation she'd understandably take that quite personally, and it would hit her very hard. Regardless, as Alin explained that it would be foolish to expect everything in the universe to be exactly perfect, Copia's mind pondered over that proposition. No death? No war? No sickness? That just isn't possible. So why should Copia expect herself to be perfect? Or Alin? Or Yoro'clis? Or Essen, or Snake, or even Mo? None of them are perfect. They just do the best they can. "I imagine," Copia thought aloud. "That all of the officers and instructors I have gained my knowledge from must have endured something similar to myself. Perhaps not in the realm of death, but in other ways that may have required them to construct a tolerance to such stimuli. I previously expressed this to Honored Elder Yoro'clis, but I believe it may be beneficial to consult Captain Mo on how to manage high-stress situations when in leadership positions such as his." Copia thought about it for a second. "I also... believe I may have heightened sensitivity to stimuli around me. I have noticed over the years that, when exposed to new or unexpected events, I have displayed the tendency to react by attempting to remove myself from the stimulus. Examples include sudden loud noises and flashes of bright lights. If I am studying my reaction to the holodeck simulation accurately, this may be a part of my overall reaction. One could argue that the shock and awe of the outcome sent me into a sort of overload. Perhaps this may be a situation in which I must learn how to control my mindsets in high-stress situations where sensory phenomena may be present."

Honestly, this problem should have come up when Copia was at the Academy before. Why was she only dealing with this now? Wasn't there anyone at the Academy who'd realised this before? Weren't there exercises at the Academy that dealt with testing people in these situations? Alin hadn't actually completed a command course, ever, so he wasn't personally familiar. But these were all questions that he had, and he was out of time to get them all answered today. He'd get Copia into regular appointments, at least for a while, to get her to a place where everyone was more confident in her ability to handle these situations. If she hadn't been in a situation yet that had required her to make hard decisions that had no good outcome, she was going to have to learn, and now. Before she was put in charge of an away team on a difficult mission, or she had to lead a team into battle. "I think consulting the Captain, if he is willing and able to make time for you, would be beneficial. But honestly, I'd probably suggest you go through more simulations, guided by a professional instructor and a qualified counsellor. If you're not opposed to the idea, I'll see what I can do for you in that regard." Somebody was going to have to teach Copia how to deal with these situations, and Alin wasn't actually qualified to help in any other way than with the medical and mental sides. He'd need someone with him there who could walk Copia through the stress of the situation, and he'd first need to find who that someone was going to be.

In fact, Copia had been through training in the past that challenged her in these sorts of situations. It was something she indeed was used to - or, perhaps not. In the past, as far as Copia knew, everything was designed and pre-thought out by the instructors, so Copia had no reason to believe that her actions would change anything that was prescribed, regardless of how she performed. This? This was all in her hands. An outcome that she could control, and that wasn't pre-written. It was all making sense! The real deal was different than a simulation, and especially those that were designed by the Academy. Copia indeed needed to work up resilience before handling something as taxing as a high-risk away mission. In her mind, Copia led herself to this -- indeed she was going to have to bear down and learn now what it was like when no outcome was what she considered to be ideal. Not everything could wrap itself up in a neat box - although that was difficult for Copia to even process. "Understood, Alin," Copia said. "I will reach out to the Captain promptly following our session. Yet, I agree that more simulations - those that are supervised - will allow me to build up a tolerance to these sorts of situations. Yes, please, whatever you are able to do in that regard -- thank you, endlessly, Alin. I wish to live up to and exceed everyone's expectations of me moving forward. I am starting to believe that there is a path forward for me. I have... hope." Hope. Hope was what Copia needed. And especially in training drills like this, hope would be a crucial thing she'd have to keep in mind.

"I'm glad I could assist with that, Copia," Alin said truthfully. He was glad that Copia was willing to work hard to improve where she lacked. He'd have to, as a professional duty, request that Copia not be put in charge of any away teams until these issues could be resolved, as with how serious they seemed to be, he couldn't justify taking that risk; but if Copia learned to deal with this as quickly as she seemed to pick up on the basic ideas he was trying to teach her, it wouldn't be long before she'd be able to hold her own in most situations. "I'm afraid we're out of time for now, Lieutenant. I have to give up this office to one of my colleagues soon, but I'll send you a message on your PADD about a guided training exercise once I've found someone who can help you out with that. If you need anything in the meantime, please don't hesitate to reach out to me in turn." He stood up, putting his glass on the table to be able to see Copia out properly. As chaotically as they started this emergency session, he wanted to take the opportunity to at least finish it on a good note.

Awww! They were over already?? Okayyyyyy. Copia nodded and stood, before giving a slight bow to Alin. "Thank you, Alin. For everything. I am forever in your debt. I look forward to our endeavors in this regard and I am eager for when guided training exercises will begin." With a growing smile, Copia turned about face and walked on out of the office. This... this was different than any other experience Copia had. But it was necessary. And Copia needed to do it soon. Alin had, in more ways than one, just saved her life. And she was infinitely grateful for his assistance in such a dire time of need - she was practically bursting for the next time she got to meet with him.

[PADD]

From: Lt. Cdr. Alyssa Hayes To: Counselling Offices Hello, I'm reaching out in interest of an appointment with whomever is next available. I myself never had therapy in my life before, but I know it's probably the best thing for me right now. I am flexible with scheduling and will make time for whomever is best available. Thank you, I hope to hear back from you soon. Regards, Lt. Cdr. Alyssa Hayes Field Tactics Trainer

Alin was setting up for a bit of a different appointment today, but one that was no less important. In fact, this would possibly be one of the more significant appointments he'd have had so far on this starbase, and that was saying something, as he'd been treating an android for the first time in his career. Still, he knew what to expect, and he knew his patient. He just had to go over her progress, talk to her about what was to come, remind her to take it easy for the first while, and tell her to keep him updated on her condition, especially if she started to suffer from stress. All things she was bound to know already considering her lengthy service record, but it was his job to remind her anyway. He couldn't help but worry, that was just the kind of person he was. So he sat there, reading his notes on her recovery, making sure he knew all the details and would be able to focus on the conversation, as opposed to his notes, once she was in the room. All that was left to do now was wait for her to arrive.

There had been a time in her life when Rhea had been the type of person who didn't find the value in, well, talking about things. She found it awkward, talking to a stranger about your worries and them sat there just... Listening. It had always felt like it wasn't a mutual conversation and the feeling of awkwardness had felt too extreme to make the rest of the talking beneficial. Post-Liberation her attitude towards counselling had changed. Feeling like her life had been upturned and having no way of putting it back on track by herself, talking everything through had been all she could do - and it had been for the better. This situation with the Undine had resulted in the same. Rhea was immensely grateful for the assistance of the station's medical staff, and their psychiatrist and counsellors had been exemplary. Unable to put two and two together when it came to working out reality was an incredibly disorienting and, at times, downright scary. Working to piece everything back together had been tiring but most certainly worth it, and Lt. Cdr. q'Reth's help was something she was very thankful for. It was him who she was here to see now - perfectly punctual, but to her that felt too late. She chimed the door, waited for the call to enter, and then walked in. "I apologise if I've kept you waiting, Lieutenant Commander," she started as soon as she had entered, door sliding closed behind her. "Apparently turbolift three is known to misbehave, and I just had to choose it out of all of them."

Alin had stood up to greet Rhea, as was appropriate. Greeting someone while you were sitting down was only to be done if you had no other choice, after all, and he'd been raised properly. "You're perfectly fine, Captain, come in. I usually stick to turbolift one myself, she always treats me right," he joked, forgetting for the moment to insist on her using his name. He felt a little awkward doing the same for her, after all, never quite getting over his deference towards higher ranks even when he was trying to treat them. He waited for Rhea to sit down first, before walking over to the replicator. "Can I get you anything to drink? I'm having a ginger tea myself," he asked, his go-to first question. Even if people weren't thirsty, talking for up to an hour could hurt the throat, and having something to drink ready was never a bad idea. And, for the more troubled patients, it helped keep them calm; you couldn't panic when you were drinking.

A mental note was made of turbolift one being preferable. However, she had noticed that it was usually rather busy (did people flock to it because it was the first turbolift listed in numerical order?) and while she liked talking to people while out and about, sometimes she craved a moment of peace and quiet. There hadn't been much opportunity to become versed in station superstition just yet, but she had already heard some rumours that turbolift three was haunted and that caused the problems, so that was a downside even if it was quieter. Maybe she'd try turbolift two: it might be a good middle ground. She made her way into the room properly to take her usual seat, folding one ankle behind the other and tucking her legs somewhat under the chair. She watched as the psychiatrist moved to the replicator, taking a moment to consider what she would like. Tea was something that she'd rarely decline. Ginger was nice, but as were so many others. "Ginger would be perfect," she replied, although still kept thinking... And typically decided to change her mind. "Wait, no - Darjeeling, actually, if that's alright. I can never decide."

Alin returned after a moment, a cup of tea in each hand. He handed the black tea to Rhea, "one darjeeling tea for the captain," while keeping the bright yellow cup for himself. He sat down, making himself comfortable in his chair and taking a sip before he lifted his head to fully face Rhea again. "So, how are you today?" An easy question to start off with, and if there was anything she was bothered by at the moment, they could work through it before getting to the meat of their session. Alin wanted everyone to be comfortable when they were talking to him, and he'd found in his several years of experience that a little small talk and checking in on someone's current mood were a good way to both show interest in their wellbeing, and lead gently into the potentially heavier subjects. He didn't expect any of those today, but he stuck to the habit anyway; asking someone how they were doing could never hurt.

The cup was accepted with both a verbal statement and an incline of her head in thanks. Gently she placed it on the surface of the desk, purposefully picking a spot where it was the least likely to get knocked over. The last thing anyone needed – including a very busy psychiatrist, she figured – was to be dealing with spilled tea all over the carpet. There it was left for the time being, giving it the opportunity to cool down a little first. You could specify a temperature range to the replicator – ‘tea, earl grey, hot’ came to mind – but someone’s ‘hot’ tea could be scalding to another person. You never knew. “Aside from being a little out of breath from power-walking here because of turbolift three refusing to work – plus worrying that I would be late – I’m alright. How are you?” Rhea was never quite sure if she was supposed to ask back in these sorts of situations. A counsellor or psychiatrist was trying to get you to talk about your feelings, not get into their own… But in her mind, not asking back was rude.

"You're always fine to be a little late. I'll never mind, and I'd rather you not tire yourself out too much," "given everything that has happened" went unsaid, but Alin was very aware of it with all of the ex prisoners he treated. Several of them had a tendency to push themselves too far, out of stubbornness or a lack of knowledge of their own limits, and it was partially his job to get them to stop doing that. It wasn't something he could stop. "I'm very good today, thank you!" Alin genuinely smiled at getting asked the question back. It wasn't uncommon per se, but usually he was here to help people with their problems, so the fact that some people asked about him never failed to make him smile. He took another sip of his tea before he continued. "Take your time to catch your breath, we're not in any rush. Once you're ready, we can go over your plans for returning to work, as that's why we're here after all."

Everyone always said that it was fine to be late (if by a few minutes and not by hours at a time,) but personally, she despised it. It was fine if other people were late, but her being late? Talos much preferred to be punctual, hence the somewhat stressful ‘I’m going to be late’ panic thanks to turbolift three. At least she hadn’t been stupidly late; that would have been her worst nightmare. People like counsellors could be so busy - being late had a knock-on impact for everyone else too. That was something she'd much rather avoid. “Oh, no, I’m alright – I’m quite happy to get right into things.” Her comment about being a little out of breath wasn’t false (which was frustrating in itself, given that just power-walking should not have been that physically exerting, but she had to remind herself that progress took time). She wasn’t going to hold things up any more though. “Where should we start? Apparently the paperwork is almost done. As far as I’m aware I’m going to be getting the position here, it’s almost guaranteed, things are just held up… Somewhere along the line.” She waved a hand vaguely at that, gesturing to the wider room as if it symbolised some sort of infinite timescale. “I’m sure you know what Starfleet administration are like.”

"I've not had too many close encounters, but I've heard many stories. I'll try to steer clear as much as possible," Alin joked, before taking a sip of his tea, and then setting it down, ready to get into it. "First of all, I'm obligated to go over your recovery. And I'm sure you know all about this bit, since you were there for it, so I'll keep it short and sweet; both physically and psychologically you have recovered remarkably well so far. You've made large strides quickly, and I absolutely think that you're mentally ready to start taking on some professional responsibilities again." That was about the long and short of it. He didn't want Rhea to think that he believed anything different; this was supposed to be a confirmation on his end that she was indeed ready. On his end, he wouldn't even have arranged for this if he hadn't already made up his mind. Were there certain caveats? Sure, but those would come up later. "If you have anything to add to that, feel free to of course. And if you don't, I would like to ask you how you plan on going about returning to work. What are your plans, what are you hoping for, is there anything you're worried about? Tell me all about it." Alin asked, because he wanted to be able to guide her if she started overconfidently, and took too much on her plate. That was only a recipe for relapse, and burnout, and all kinds of nasty things he'd rather prevent as well as he could.

She bowed her head slightly – in thanks? Respect? – when the Commander spoke of the ‘large strides.’ There was no denying that she had been worried about things being the direct opposite and it taking forever for her to find her feet again. Determination had always been in her nature and she hated not working: there had never been a time when she didn’t have energy to expend, and that hadn’t reduced with age. Being away from what she poured almost all of her energy into was downright frustrating, and it made things worse. It was as a result that she had been determined to make progress (while not ignoring what had happened, because she knew that wasn't a healthy way to do things.) “Thank you,” she replied, “I’m glad that I’ve managed to make progress in… Dealing with all of this.” ’This’ was such a small word for having your entire reality re-written, but alas. “I always feel like not being able to work makes things worse, so I’m keen to get back into it. Well – not so much back as this is a completely new job and crew and such, but… I’m sure you get what I mean.” She gave a little shrug and paused to sip her tea. “The plan is ideally to do a phased return, so not full working hours just yet, and build up to that instead. Hoping for… Well, for things to go smoothly, and worried about things not going smoothly. I’ve never worked on a starbase before, so this is a lot people than I’d be in command of on a ship. Plus – it’s been a long time since I’ve worked under someone else’s command.”

Alin nodded as Rhea spoke, giving her the space to get her thoughts out. He agreed with her that a gradual return to work was preferable; if she hadn't suggested it he would have. Returning to work all at once was almost always a bad idea, or at least not the best option, and especially after going through extensive physical and mental trauma, gradually getting used to a new environment tended to be the better option. "I think you have a great idea of what is best for your mind and body, which is always a trait I love encountering in my patients. A gradual return to work is always the recommendation, basically regardless of what someone went through." It was always Alin's recommendation, at least. There was very little that couldn't at least be helped by simply reducing someone's workload, and as a medical officer, he could make that happen for people. "And as for your situation specifically, I think working under someone is not at all a strange choice. You get to share the burden of responsibility that way; you'd still be in charge occasionally, as is the nature of being a deputy commander, but you will always have someone who can lift that burden from you if necessary."

Alin’s words were something that she had considered before and agreed with. When the advert for the position of deputy station commander had first come up she hadn’t been certain. She certainly didn’t want to leave, 777 suddenly feeling like the only place of stability and security that she knew, but she thought it might be strange serving under someone after so long. After consideration she had worked out that maybe, after recent events, that was actually a good idea. It would entail slightly less pressure, but still enough work to stop her from being bored out of her mind. As much as she would miss the view from a ship at warp, she had the self-understanding to know that she wouldn’t be ready to command again just yet. Having someone else in the lead would be beneficial. “I agree – it’s one of the reasons why I thought that the position might be worthwhile, aside from getting to stay here in general and gaining experience of working on a starbase for the first time. As much as I’d like to pretend that everything is perfectly fine and back to normal, I know it’s not. It would be foolish of me to think that I could jump straight back into the captain’s chair like the past year has never happened.” …But then again, perhaps she should be able to. She had heard rumours of what the others rescued from the Terrasphere were off to do now. One, apparently, was doing what Talos wasn’t – flying the nest, leaving the safety of 777, and immediately taking the captain’s chair again. Maybe Talos should be doing the same. Maybe she ought to be doing better than this.

"You definitely sound like you've got it all figured out. I would absolutely agree with all of that. You can always go back to commanding a ship later, if that's what you want. For now, I would say your recovery is the most important part, and slowly returning to work is a great next step on that road." Alin had definitely had patients in the past that were less aware of what was reasonable and expected from them at any point in their recovery, not in the least a certain other captain from the Terrasphere group who had gone charging off in a brand new direction at the first sign of freedom... but what he thought reasonable sometimes didn't particularly translate to the realities of other people's lives. It happened infrequently, but he too was wrong occasionally. "I think it's always important to remember that recovery can never go too slow. In the end you'll always be pushed ahead by your own wish for more freedom, more independence, more nights without nightmares. So taking your time right now to ease back into work will inevitably have you rising to the workload you can handle, and then as your capacity grows, so will your workload, until perhaps one day you are ready to take on command of a ship again." If nothing else it was a good thing to strive for. As long as Rhea took her time with things and didn't demand too much of herself, he was confident she'd be able to achieve it once more in no-time... if she hadn't gotten too attached to 777 by then and refused to ever leave.

Well, this was it. This was the day she'd find out. Was she nervous? Absolutely. But only good things could come from this. Melody approached the first counselling office, checking her PADD to see what the time was, and ensuring she wasn't late, only about a minute or two early, so that she wasn't waiting too long. With a breath, she finally took a step outside the office, not peering inside, but just to the left of it. She had been thinking about this for a while, the medical examination with Via and Niwa, leading to this. Maybe there was an explanation as to why she just... felt so different than everybody else. But today she would finally have a chance to understand why. Today, she would finally have ways to move forward. So with a cautious knock, Melody was ready.

At the sound of the knock, Alin immediately yelled a "come in!" at the expected patient on the other side of the door, standing up to greet her. He'd been looking over the notes from miss Marshall's appointment with doctors Dreaxa and Niwayiva before, and was hopeful that with some careful examination, he could give her some answers. Once the door opened, he motioned for Melody to come in, offering her a large hand to shake. "Hey, it's good to finally meet you. I'm Alin, I'll be examining you today," he introduced himself, knowing that Melody could have read that on her appointment, but some people were still confused at a big Klingon being their psychiatrist and he tended to stay on the safer side and just clarify.

Melody cautiously walked up to the door frame to meet Alin, before hearing him say come in, and the door opened. Upon seeing Alin, Melody's anxiety did begin to dissipate, she was still a bit antsy to be talking to any counsellor ever as she'd never done it before, but Alin's smiling face certainly helped to greet her in and help reassure her that he was not here to hurt or belittle her. With a nod, Melody's smile returned somewhat, and she continued with a cautious stride into the office. Melody continued forward, approaching Alin and accepting his offer, shaking his hand, and smiling a little wider. "Hi Alin," Melody managed to say, her nerves showing through her voice. "It's good to finally meet you too. Seriously, thanks for making time for me. You all in the medical department have been kind and so supportive of me." Melody wasn't at the verge of tears by any means, but she was still definitely not her usual cheery self. She seemed sobered, in a way. And she wanted to be on her best behavior for Alin.

"That's my job, miss Marshall, some lousy doctor I would be if I didn't make time when people needed me," Alin stated kindly, motioning for her to walk in further. She didn't seem as upbeat as she'd been described to him, but then, perhaps she was simply having a bad day. Everyone had those, even he, though he didn't really show them so clearly... probably because he was very mild-mannered to begin with. "Please, take a seat," he implored, walking over towards the replicator himself. "Can I get you something to drink before we start? We have a lot of talking to do today, so it might be nice to have something to lubricate the vocal chords," he offered, inputting the recipe for a rooibos tea with honey and mandarin for himself while he awaited a response.

With barely a nod, Melody acknowledged that. "Yeah..." she managed to reply, finally feeling comfortable enough to continue in, as Alin consistently showed his kindness, which convinced her that he was indeed someone to trust. She took a seat as Alin encouraged her to, settling in, while partially comforted by the softness of the chair, something she immediately took notice to, feeling the sides of it. It hit Melody that this sort of place was one where she was meant to feel comfortable, one where she was meant to feel like she could open up. So why would Alin go all this way to make this space feel open and inviting if comfortability wasn't the goal? Finally Melody felt a little better, feeling like she could open up a little more. When Alin asked about if she wanted anything from the replicator, Melody obliged. "Yeah, please," Melody said. "Any sort of tea that can keep my throat in good condition. It's my instrument, after all, I want to take care of it the best I can. Maybe you know of some tea that I might not know about?" Little did she know Alin was already inputting rooibos tea into the replicator!

Alin agreed easily and replicated a second tea for Melody, before walking over and setting it down on the table between them, taking a seat opposite her, his own tea warming his hands, PADD left to the side for now. "How are you doing today, Melody?" he started with, wanting to get a conversation started before he got into the meat of what needed to be accomplished today. For many people, especially if it was their first time talking to a mental health professional of any kind, felt uncomfortable, and wouldn't really know how to speak their mind with them. Having just a little starter conversation to break the ice usually helped to get them to at least feel familiar enough with him to start answering his questions when he needed them to. He found that his counselling training helped him a lot even in situations where he was supposed to be a psychiatrist first.

Melody smiled, giving Alin a polite nod as he set the tea down on the table towards her. "Thank you," Melody replied with a weak smile, before she took the tea took a small sip, which turned into a bigger sip. The tea certainly was soothing, and helped right away to put her mind at least at a little bit of ease. "Mm! Not bad!" She resisted the urge to get into the tea's specific flavor profile. Now was not the time nor the place to get into that. It was time to get to business. Business that was extremely important for Melody's health. Even just asking her how she was doing was able to have Melody accept that she needed to be candid. Of course she was honest, but she needed to be candid and not sugarcoat anything. "Today? Well, I'm nervous," Melody admitted. "Not scared, just nervous. This is something I've been thinking about for a while since I saw Niwa and Doctor Dreaxa. Normally I'm not nervous. This is super rare for me. But I've been doing my best to fill my time with things that can move me forward in a positive direction. My new girlfriend Alyssa. My new candy bar line you may have seen on the bulletin board. Controlling my energy so it isn't full-force all the time. Some things that have taken some discipline to learn how to manage and get ahold of. Those have me feeling... Accomplished? I think? That's the best way to describe it. So nervous and... Accomplished? That was... A long winded answer, I'm sorry..." She did her best to try and articulate that. And after speaking just a little bit, her voice did raise in volume from a near whisper to about normal speaking volume, and her smile was finally coming back a little, so that was an improvement. (edited)

Alin smiled gently. "No, don't worry about it. Long-winded answers are what helps me figure out how to help you. What are you nervous about, when thinking about this appointment?" The less nervous he could get Melody, the easier it would be to get results he could work with, which was ultimately what they both wanted. "It's completely normal to be nervous, to be clear. A lot of people are nervous about their first appointments with mental health professionals, and for a lot of different, equally valid reasons. I just want to help you be as comfortable as you can be before we start talking about more personal things," he explained, hoping Melody would take it well enough.

During Alin's explanation Melody remained near silent. She didn't know what to say that wouldn't come off as overly nervous. But she had to say something. If she didn't it wouldn't give her the answers either of them were looking for. "Well, I know at least, nothing is wrong with me," Melody began. "So that's a start. I'm just... Not used to this big of a change. That I've had something going on inside my mind I didn't even know was there. I just don't want to mess anything up. It feels like I have a huge glass vase I need to protect from falling onto the ground and shattering, if that makes sense?" Melody continued. "A vase that I don't know what it's filled with." But when Melody heard that it was normal to be nervous for healthcare appointments, she let out a sigh of relief. "Really?" She asked. "So I'm not overreacting? This is normal? Well... That makes me feel a little better. Thank you." With a breath, Melody calmed herself a bit more and looked back to Alin. "I don't feel completely comfortable with any of what's going on in my head right now... But I gotta get out of my comfort zone. If I don't, I won't ever figure out what's going on in my head. I have a feeling it won't be easy. But I just gotta do it." With another deep breath... "I think I'm ready."

"You explain your feelings very well for someone who isn't comfortable with them," Alin noted gently. If anything, it was common for neurodivergent people to not be able to name or describe their feelings beyond "good", "bad", or "neutral", so the fact that Melody was able to explain herself so well was very helpful. In normal CBT, it could be an obstacle, since if a patient understood themself too well, trying to break thought patterns was difficult. But for diagnostic purposes, it was great to work with. "If you're sure, I will start by explaining what I'll do today. First of all, I would like to go over the questionnaire you handed in recently. I will go through every question you answered "yes" to, so you can explain why you gave that answer. Once we've gone through everything, I hope to have a better understanding of your mind. I will then ask a few of my own questions, if I have them, and then I will have an answer for you as soon as possible. If you need a break at any point, just ask me, and we can take a minute or two. Is that alright with you?" There could be modifications made to the structure of an appointment like this, but it would take more time, and sometimes took multiple appointments. It was usually done for children and people with more obvious accommodation needs, but if Melody required something like that, he would make the arrangements.

At Alin's compliment of Melody being able to explain her feelings well, especially given that she was indeed not comfortable with them, Melody felt her body loosen up slightly. That was GOLDEN for Melody to begin to feel better. "I-I do?" Melody asked in response. "Thanks! It helps I've been thinking about this for a while. And I've talked about this with my girlfriend, she's been a huge help in articulating what I am feeling. So I haven't gone through this alone." With that Melody's voice began to raise once more to about halfway to a normal speaking voice, but not too loud as to be obnoxious or overpowering. It was working - Melody found herself opening up more to Alin! Melody listened close as Alin explained the procedure for the meeting. "The questionnaire? Okay!" And then she listened some more. "Oh! That... kinda seems easier than I thought it was gonna be! So no fancy medical equipment then like Niwa and Doctor Dreaxa used! Easy peasy! Yeah, that's alright with me!" And just like that, Melody's normal demeanor was back. No scary testing, no large pieces of equipment, no x-rays, none of that - just a simple conversation! That made Melody feel ten times better already. (edited)

Alin chuckled at Melody's clear relief when he revealed he wouldn't be examining her brain with medical equipment, but through conversation and observation instead. "No, I tend to leave my medical equipment in the general ward. Psychiatry is a tad bit different to most other medical disciplines in that regard." The medical equipment he touched the most were hyposprays, and even that was few and far between; usually he just prescribed medication and left the rest for the pharmacists to deal with. The blackout was an emergency event; he rarely even entered the rest of the medical wards, unless he was trying to consult with another medical professional. "Alright, let me just grab my PADD with your answers, and then we'll go through it." Alin took a sip of his tea, before setting it down and leaning over to where he'd put his PADD, making sure he was on the correct page. From the answers she'd given, he was leaning towards a tentative autism diagnosis, but you really could never be sure from just these questionnaires, which is why an appointment like this was always necessary. "The first question you answered yes to is here. "I have difficulty putting myself in other people's shoes," can you explain how that manifests for you, or why you feel it applies?"

Huh! So Melody really was in the clear now! No fancy equipment, just talking. Should be simple enough, she thought! Or maybe it would be difficult, at least, given that she had never really talked about this before to anyone, at least, in this setting. But now was as good of a time as ever. "O-okay!" Melody piped back up, feeling evidently much more comfortable than she was when she walked in the door. Goodness, how did Alin do it? How was he so good at getting Melody to feel so comfortable, so quickly?? But now wasn't the time to think about that. Let's get down to business, Melody thought. That also sparked a random song reference in her head - but she quickly dismissed that. She needed to focus. "I have difficulty putting myself in other people's shoes -- yeah, I answered yes for that one. It's... not the easiest to really understand what's going on in someone's head. I feel like unless they specifically tell me how they're feeling or what's going on, I don't realize it or make that connection. It's happened with multiple people, even here on the starbase. Once with a customer who didn't feel like talking much, I didn't put the pieces together until afterwards. And then once with Alyssa - she and I got into a fight and I didn't realize what she was feeling until we talked things through -- calmly -- afterwards. It's a disconnect...? I think that's the right word? Between knowing what others are thinking and what I am thinking. Like they have to be very upfront about what they're thinking for me to be able to understand them."

"That makes sense," Alin said calmly, taking notes. A tendency to be unable to properly parse other people's thoughts and feelings and include them in one's worldview wasn't uncommon among a whole host of mental issues, and autism was absolutely included in that group. "Did you feel that when you were younger, too? You answered yes to "I found it difficult to connect with peers as a child" as well." Even if Melody hadn't realised it yet, it might be a contributing factor, alongside being found weird, simply not being that social, being shy, or any number of other factors, some of which could also point to autism.

It barely took a couple seconds for Melody to confirm that. "Oh goodness, yes, it was very hard connecting with peers as a child," Melody said. "Growing up... I always felt like there was a divide between myself and other kids growing up. And I didn't know why. I tried to talk to other kids like they did to each other, and it just... Never came out how I wanted it to? If that makes sense? From elementary school to high school. I always felt different - like I wasn't catching what others were talking about, or that they were just on a different wavelength than I was. I'd often get weird looks or other reactions for being so 'musical' as I was known. Of course that helped me in terms of the theatrical sense and getting roles, but in terms of friendships... It was a definite case of ostracizing. Now, it doesn't mean I didn't make any friends ever, but it certainly was still difficult and sometimes took a while. I found it easiest to connect with kids from the get-go who loved music as much as I did, but those were few and far between." And as Melody thought about it more, it began to sink in. She had no idea she was thinking like this or gave it a second thought until recently. Despite all this being evidently uncomfortable... Melody chose to keep going. She figured that she needed to be uncomfortable so she could be more aware of this. (edited)

One of the things Alin frequently noticed, and something that he immediately noticed Melody start doing as well, was the copying of his medical lingo. He had to ask the question as written, for the sake of keeping the test as accurate as possible, but people could respond however they wanted. In natural conversation, one might have used "classmates" or something in that trend, as opposed to the more clinical "peers". This wasn't to diss any of his patients, he just noticed it happen. He suspected that in a way, it was just people trying to fit in with him, even if he wasn't at all to be considered their peer in this office. "I see, thank you for your answer. Was your musicality one of your main interests as a child? I noticed you also answered yes to having very limited interests, that you spend most of your time on." That was technically skipping ahead a little, but it couldn't hurt. Technically there wasn't any set way for him to go through these questions; as long as they were all addressed by the end, his job was done.

Once again, Melody found this answer immediately one that she could speak at length about. "Oh, goodness, yes," Melody replied to Alin. "Musicality, and not even just musicality, but the act of performing as well. Those are still interests I swear by to this day. My family instilled those values into me from day one, that there was a song in every single phenomenon in the universe. I believed it - every song I sang, I felt better afterwards, even if I was already happy. And I just... Was good at it. I still am good at it. Music, and performing. Better than most of my peers, and that's not even me bragging, that's a fact. I just understood music and my voice better than anyone else did. Like it just clicked. So not only was musicality an interest, it was just a... Natural talent? I mean, how else would I have gotten Christine in Phantom, or Grizabella in Cats, or the Witch in the Wizard of Oz?" And after a breath, Melody continued. "But music and performing aren't my only interests. Obviously the baking and cooking are interests, I have my own bakery, for goodness' sake! I found a love in baking that started, again, from my family. And since, I went to college for it, and started Marshall's Munchies. And then, my other interest is just... Being kind to people. Living life to the fullest. And having fun wherever I can!"

Alin himself wasn't sure if "being kind" could be considered an interest, as much as a personality trait, but he wasn't about to argue. Besides, music and baking were clear enough examples of limited interest that he didn't feel the need to specify. "Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. I'm glad you were able to find a hobby that you could transform into your work," he said genuinely, before taking another sip of his tea. "Alright, next question: "I feel emotions very intensely compared to other people." Is that something you've observed, or do you get told this by other people, or why do you feel this is true?" He felt he was already getting a pretty decent picture of Melody, especially as she lost control of her volume and spoke excitedly until her breath ran out. But him having a good idea of someone's character was not equivalent to diagnostic criteria that needed to be met.

It wasn't as obvious of a question to be able to answer, so this time Melody did her best. "Er, yeah, I said yeah on that one, it's not something I really think about too often because it just... Happens. But sometimes I feel like my reactions to things are more... Intense than other people's. Which leads me to think it has to do something with my emotions. I haven't really had to be told that my emotions are a bit more intense than other people's, it's most of the time by others' reactions to me. I remember when Niwa and I first met she was kinda... Confused? It seemed? I'm not quite sure. But whatever it was, she just wasn't on the same page as me." And then, with another deep breath, she continued. "Then there was the fight I got into with Alyssa. We got so angry at each other, but I was the one to really start it all, and I'll admit that. She pointed out how easy it was for my emotions to be too much by reminding me about a time when I had to sort of... Bottle it up? At Maggie the Magnificent's showcase. But she's the only one who's been that direct about it with me, besides you. I feel like she --and I -- both of us could have handled it better but she wasn't wrong for making me fully and completely aware that my emotions were much more intense than others. I've noticed it a lot more lately now that I know to look for it."

Alin simply jotted an abbreviated version of what Melody was telling him down, nodding as she spoke to indicate she was still listening. His notes were a little all over the place, but as long as he himself would be able to sort through them later, it was fine. "You've been noticing it recently? And if you look back to older interactions, even ones from your childhood, can you tell me about your experiences then? Were your emotions particularly strong compared to your classmates, or even your family?" For an autism diagnosis, which he was leaning towards, symptoms needed to be present from childhood, or at least adolescence. If it wasn't clear enough now, he'd ask if it was possible to speak to Melody's parents, to get a better picture of what she was like as a child. However, he'd leave that as a very last resort.

Now this was something that hit Melody a little off guard, as she expected to just remain within what Alin had previously asked her on the questionnaire. However, she realized that she'd need to get out of her comfort zone if she were to get more concrete answers, and this would be no exception. So, after a moment of thinking, Melody responded. "Yeah, it's... it's been there since the beginning, now that I think about it. I'd get excited over something in class and my classmates would look at me kinda weird. Or I'd be sad about something that my classmates didn't look like they were as sad over. Or any time I'd get angry about anything classmates would notice and sometimes even laugh afterwards about." Then Melody thought back to her family. "On a slightly lighter note, especially when I was little, my family would make me laugh, and whenever I did, it seemed like I laughed longer and louder than I should be. Sometimes they'd tell me to take some deep breaths if I went too long. But most often, I just... saw my parents' behaviors and mimicked it. Because that's all I knew how to do. And they were pretty energetic. They still are somewhat today. But I still felt like I had a heightened... something compared to my parents. It may be the emotions side after all this time." (edited)

Alin jotted all that down. Usually autism was hereditary, meaning that someone in the family would have similar traits, but simultaneously, autism could manifest in a great many ways, and unless the traits proved to cause difficulties in daily life, people weren't usually diagnosed. Or, and this was equally as likely: maybe Melody simply hadn't noticed. "Do you cry easily? Not just out of sadness, though obviously that counts too," he asked. Strong emotions usually manifested themselves as tears, simply because the body used that as a release mechanism. Frustration, sadness, anger, and fear frequently caused tears, especially in people who felt those things more strongly than others, but so could positive emotions like happiness, surprise, and relief.

Now this was something that Melody was also able to answer very easily. "Oh goodness, yes," Melody replied. "It has happened since I can even remember, up until now. Although I haven't done so much here... But that's besides the point. Yeah, crying with me is... Interesting. Most often I cry because something big happened, and sometimes I just start to cry for no reason at all. I don't really cry when I'm angry -- which, to be fair, is almost never -- but it's not just when I'm sad, like you say. I almost feel like it's a natural response, in a way? Like it's how I'm supposed to react physically." Thinking about it for a moment, Melody continued. "Although, not a ton of life changing events have really happened. My parents are still together, they're happy, we stayed in the same house, I went to college. I think the majority of the time I've cried has been about being an outsider to other classmates in grade school. Other times for good reasons I've cried - like my first ever birthday cake that I baked! Or my family surprising me with a trip to New York City! Those are good cries!"

"Of course, you can cry for any reason. And crying is never "bad", nor for a bad reason. You don't have to be ashamed about it." Alin had enough patients who never wanted to be seen crying, even though there was no shame in it. Hell, even his own family, the Klingon part at least, was like that, though they all tended to get misty-eyed when singing operas together. "Say, I sent you those infographics on neurodivergence in our communications, before we made this appointment. Was there anything in there that caught your eye, or that you felt you related to a lot?" While this could be considered a leading question, Alin felt Melody wasn't a liar, and would just use the opportunity to maybe touch on something they hadn't discussed yet.

In a bit of a sigh of relief, Melody settled into the fact that her crying wasn't at all abnormal or unexpected, neurodivergency or not. "Heh... Well, that's certainly something new I haven't been told before. At least by people outside of my own family. Thanks, Alin." Her smile and her tone of voice was genuine. And as soon as Alin mentioned the infographic, Melody felt like she had just what to say. "Yes, actually! I looked at each of the infographics you sent, both on the Autism Spectrum and on ADHD. I feel like some of them overlap with me? But I think, and correct me if I'm wrong cuz you're the expert, but based on what we've gone over, as well as the infographic, I think I may be on the autism spectrum, because the infographic went over things like motor skills and sensory processing. Kinda big words... But in doing my own research, motor skills are just how my body moves, right? I've always felt like I have to put in an extra step in my head to be able to move a certain way, like doing a certain sport in gym class. So my motor skills are just different than people who aren't on the spectrum? And the sensory thing - that's kinda like the five senses, right? Growing up I used to be super duper sensitive to loud or unexpected sounds. It took me a while to learn ways to handle them before I got into a lot of my lead roles in theatre. Both of those things were on the autism infographic, yeah?" (edited)

Alin was glad the infographics had at least helped some. Sometimes he was completely off the mark with them, but he could hardly send information on every single developmental disability out there with a single message. Still, it seemed he and Melody were in agreement. "Yes, difficulty with both gross and fine motor skills is very common in autism, as is noise sensitivity. I'm glad you were able to recognise some of your experience in them, and I hope it could provide some comfort while you had to wait for your appointment." He wasn't going to give Melody any confirmation just yet. As per good practice, he would review his notes, and the brain scans, and maybe even consult some of his colleagues, before writing up a report. He was, however, fairly certain he knew what the verdict was going to be. "I think that's all I needed today, so our appointment is going to be drawing to a close soon. Unless you have any questions for me, I would like to suggest a video call appointment in two weeks, when I'll have your diagnosis ready, and I'll be able to explain it to you. If that works for you?"

Melody listened back to Alin's explanation of the furthered symptoms of autism - which made her feel even more validated and safe knowing that people like her had existed before, and most likely still exist to this day, so she wouldn't be alone. Finally, she'd be able to get some closure on this, and have this question answered about herself. "O-okay!" Melody said. "Yeah, that works for me! I can't think of any more questions right now, so. I am looking forward to our video call in two weeks!" Melody replied. "And... Thanks for everything, not just the appointment. Thanks for the tea, for your attention, and most importantly for being so kind to me." Melody's energy had returned fully, while she still felt somewhat anxious of what her diagnosis would be, it was clear that once it was declared, she'd feel so much more sure of herself than ever! "I'll see you in two weeks then? See ya!!" Melody said, before she exited. No singing exit this time - she didn't really feel the need to. Instead, she felt it necessary to keep herself calm. No need to go over the top. Maybe now was a good time to rest and take a nap, she thought. Either way... Melody finally felt like she was moving forward, thanks to Alin.